Saturday, July 11, 2009

Points to Ponder

Sorry if yu find it abusive down the lane. I have put a lot of effort in shaping this post with the least possible abusive content. Hope yu all will comprehend my mental infirmity.

Following are the physical traits that describe the DNA of MH and the denizens who live here. Please be informed that adapting some of these physical traits as a way of life might prove catastrophic.

  1. MH is exclusively for men though in a considerable proportion yu can find women but confined to CDs, magazines and posters.
  2. MH is to CET is perfectly proportional to Kashmir is to India. We crave for autonomy & freedom. Though we abide by the constitution of CET we frequently voice protests, stage dharnas, and call strikes against the flaws in the framework.
  3. G-sec is considered to be born to purple. He is the diamond in the pool of gems. His words are rules, actions are taken for granted and we call him by the name "Raja".
  4. Mhites revel in arrogance, chauvinism and misogyny. We feel that day scholars are immature & LHites are whores.
  5. Mhites are trained to conserve water. So people here seldom bath, rarely wash, shit dry and drink a lot of beer.
  6. In MH, the most consumed 'goods such as shirts, jeans, soap, shampoos, hair oils, toothpastes are prone to Buy Operate and transfer model of operation and eventually one who emptied his purse literally sucks. [A guy using underwear of his roommate is an extreme example of case in point.]
  7. Mhites choose to spend 90% of their money in movies, cigarettes, alcohol, paying mess bill fines and with the final option we ensure that the revenue of college never dips below a stipulated level. Juniors are our ATMs.
  8. One-third of the Mhites are never expected in the class on time; the next one-third choose to set foot in the college after academic hours; and all said the remaining one-third don't know what college life is all about.
  9. The most creative bits are born in MH. This shows our commitment and dedication when it comes to exams and as there are always two sides to a coin some guyz deliberately choose to bunk the exams.
  10. Every batch in the MH consider their immediate senior and just junior batch as nothing but morons.
  11. All celebrations and personal achievements in MH are marked by brutally bruising the back of the concerned individual(s)
  12. On a regular basis, Mhites follow UK timings. We hit the hay in the morning and wake up by afternoon; well not everyone.
  13. Mhites are the source of one of the greatest ironies in the world. We stoically get up early in the morning, somehow mange to take a bath, groom ourselves well and call water strike bringing college to a dead freeze. [This is an exception to the above point.]
  14. Mhites have a penchant for fighting. It's a lifestyle obsession. [If yu wondered as to how that becomes an obsession - go and watch Edward Norton & Bradd pitt starer Fight club.]
  15. We christen our own names and have our own jargons and colloquial usages. Mentioning those here would contradict the preface of this post.

This post is highly figurative.......DISCLAIMERS!

1 comment:

  1. people here seldom bath, rarely wash, "shit dry" and drink a lot of beer.

    നന്നായിരിക്കുന്നു..പല വാക്കുകളുടെയും അര്ത്ഥം പിടി കിട്ടിയില്ലെങ്കിലും ....